My Journey With Mindfulness After 8 Weeks
Hello!
I've come to my last full week in Edinburgh before Christmas (yay!!) and therefore my last Thursday Mindfulness Meditation session. Rather satisfyingly, my last session marked 8 weeks of mindfulness for me so I thought I'd share my experience and journey with it so far.
When I went to mindfulness for the first time, I was a total mess. I think on that day in particular, I'd been violently sick before my first lecture, I had absolutely no makeup on, and was really lacking in sleep and food by that point. So, as you can imagine, I was not looking so fabulous. I was nervous and for some reason, really didn't want to draw attention to the fact I was new and I was pleasantly surprised when they just let me quietly get on with things. I copied the others and took a purple yoga mat, a head rest, and a blanket, quietly laid it all out, laid down and waited. Now, when I say they let me get on with things, I'm not saying that they will just ignore anyone who comes through the door, not at all. I've seen lots of new people ask what they should do, and the chaplain in charge is very reassuring; I think it must have been glaringly obvious that I wanted to be left alone.
The main thing I've learnt is that it takes a long time to be good at mindfulness, you really have to work at it to be good, and I'm nowhere near good yet but I'm certainly improving. The whole point of mindfulness is to be able to clear your mind and to just experience 'being' without thought. For beginners, the main thing you have to work on is giving yourself permission to be in that space and to clear your mind. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. It is so hard to make your brain shut up! What I found easiest to begin with was to lie on my back with my knees up and focus on the sensation of my spine lengthening and being able to feel the ground on my back. After 8 weeks though, I have accomplished giving myself permission to be there. I've noticed a real difference just from having 40 minutes a week to completely stop and think of nothing. Even when I'm completely snowed under, I make sure I go to the mindfulness session; selfceare is just as important as homework, kiddiwinks!
The second thing I've mastered (there are only 2 things so far!) is whole body breathing. What this is (and I'll do my best to explain it!) is breathing in imagining the air coming from the crown of your head, and then going through your toes on the way out, then going back in through the toes, and out through the crown of your head... You basically incorporate your entire body into your breathing which aids relaxation - and I guess it gives you a focus so your mind can't wander. I find this method particularly useful when going to sleep.
My main struggle at the moment, is keeping my mind from wandering. It is so hard to get my mind back into the main focus once it has gone off track, in fact, I've been totally baffled by what I actually think about. My mind can go to all sorts of places, from conversations I've had with my boyfriend's parents, to what readings I have to do, to whether I should put a bright colour in my hair (any thoughts on this would be appreciated!)... Today, in fact, I'd explained to a new girl what she had to do, and I found myself wondering how she was getting on before reminding myself that this was a time just for me!
The past 8 weeks have been truly transformational for my perspective on my mental health - I can gain some control! I just have to practice. I'd highly recommend it to anyone that has ever thought of starting.
I'll check in again when I'm a bit further down the line.
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Also! I hope you all like the Christmas revamp to the site! I'm certainly proud of it!
Lots of Love,
Sarah xxx
Today's track: Charlie Cunningham 'Minimum'
