Why You Don't Have to Smile Because it's Christmas
Hello!
It feels like a little while since my last post but that's because I had an exam yesterday and I've only just got back home properly. Now, I know the title looks like this post is going to be one of those ultra-serious articles you find in the Times about how Christmas is the worst thing ever, and perish the thought that people might actually want to enjoy themselves, but it isn't, I promise.
Today, I wanted to shed light on the fact that whilst it is exciting to have the houses all lit up, and lovely to give your loved ones presents, Christmas can be a difficult time for many people (including myself), and it's not always easy to look after your mental health.
I know Christmas can feel especially sad if you've lost someone, or one if your loved ones is unwell. My gran always found Christmas hard because her sister had died on Christmas Day when she was young. Now, whilst nobody has died that's close to me, I have felt a certain sense of loss the last few years. There was the year when I'd just turned 18, and my boyfriend had left me (much to my parent's delight - he was awful). Then last year when there was a big family argument involving my auntie completely turning on me... Not very Christmassy! And this year, despite it being lovely having a steady boyfriend, and a gorgeous new nephew, there are people sort of missing. My dad and I haven't been speaking for over a year and it feels like a real loss at this point. I haven't bought him a present this year as I don't see the point in pretending everything's lovely when it isn't. However, I will try phoning him on Christmas Day as I really don't think it should carry on like this - wish me luck! There are friends that I'm no longer friends with, and my gran is not very switched on anymore so there's a real sense of something missing. And I think it's ok to acknowledge that; it's ok to feel sad when things like this happen.
Christmas Shopping is another thing that can make people feel down. It's lovely to give your loved ones gifts, and especially lovely to see their faces when they open them but with those gifts comes a lot of worry... What if you've got it wrong and they hate it? What if they've spent a lot of money on you and you can't afford to do the same? What if they've already got what you've given them? I have all of those worries when I'm Christmas shopping, of course I do but I know from experience that there's no need. It shouldn't matter how much money you spend on a gift, or whether they have it already. The point is, you've thought about that person and have taken the time to buy them a present, wrap it up and give it to them. If they really care about you, they'll realise these things too, try not to worry, and just enjoy the act of giving.
This year, I'm really starting to realise that looking after your mental health at Christmas is so important, and it's actually ok not to be ok. Having finished university so late this time, I am absolutely exhausted, and am finding new things to stress about as I haven't had time to do any Christmas shopping yet, or any cards. But it's not just that that's getting me down a little bit; I'm going through a real dip in self confidence at the moment. I'm constantly worried that my face isn't attractive enough, my makeup looks too much, my hair isn't right, and my shape isn't right. Therefore, I'm getting a bit worried about any weight I might put on over Christmas. I'm worried that my friends and family don't like me anymore, and that my blog is rubbish. I know it's all probably a reaction to tiredness but I'm finding myself close to tears whenever I hear the phrase "Smile, it's Christmas!" BUT, I don't want to just moan at you, although you might find my angst somewhat relatable! I'm just going to leave you with some tips on looking after your mental health this Christmas.
1. Make sure you have somewhere to escape to if you need 10 minutes to be alone.
Christmas can be busy, and the house is often filled with family and friends. As nice as this is, it's perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Don't let it consume you, take 10!
2. Tell someone how you're feeling underneath it all.
If you feel like everyone expects you to be super cheery, let someone close to you know if you're feeling the strain a bit. That way you know that at least one person understands.
3. Look after yourself physically.
When you're so busy focusing on those around you, you can quite often forget about yourself. Have a bath, get enough sleep, look after your body. I personally suffer from very dry skin so I'm really trying to make an effort to look after it. Look out for my post on evening pampering!
4. Don't be afraid to turn down the alcohol.
I know that Christmas can be a rather boozy affair, but alcohol can have a real impact on your mental health. Do have a day or two without drinking anything to rebalance yourself. There's no shame in it!
5. Phone the people you've lost touch with.
I know I've been feeling down about the situation with my dad but I'm biting the bullet and ringing him. There's no point in sitting at home worrying about it, try your best to sort it! If it doesn't work this time, at least be positive in the knowledge that you tried.
There are more, but I think those 5 are a good place to start.
I hope this was somewhat helpful, do share it if it was, and join the mailing list if you want to read more.
You don't have to smile if you don't want to!
Lots of Love,
Sarah xxx
Today's Track: One of my all time favourite choral Christmas tunes, 'Torches' - Sung by Choir of King's College Cambridge. Plus, it's a bit frantic - just like this post!
