Real Friends and Genuine Compliments
Hello!
When I look back to where I was a year ago starting the second semester of first year, I honestly can't believe how much has changed. I think change is good, however frightening it is, and however much we might want it to, things never stay the same. I think that's the same with friends. Sometimes, you meet someone, you seem to really hit it off, and then it fizzles out. Other times, you're not so close, but then get closer at the most surprising of times. And occasionally, you meet friends that stay with you until the bitter end. That's kind of what's been on my mind this past week or so.
I've been looking at my circle of friends recently and have been oddly surprised by how much it has changed. I've also noticed that I try to cling on to the ones that perhaps aren't as close as they once were, and ignore the ones that have been constant, or become closer as time has gone on. I suppose that relates to my anxiety. I put a lot of effort into my friendships and consequently, get hurt when people don't do the same, or drift away. Right now, I'm trying to accept that people will drift away however much I try to cling on but that doesn't mean I have no friends. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I have some wonderful friends that have stuck by me right the way through, some that have stuck when I've been distant, or moody, or generally unpleasant; they've just stayed. To those that have, I want to say a big thank you, I really don't thank you, or appreciate you enough.
I also think that we're so quick to write people off if they do something wrong or drift. In my experience, forgiving people and giving second chances means you get the strongest friendships. People are human, they mess up. Trust me, you get a lot of respect from being open minded and forgiving.
Having said this, I must admit that whilst thinking about everything that's changed, I've been feeling a bit flat, and lacking in confidence. I suppose I'm one that decides that no-one likes me and that I must be really irritating at the first sign of trouble. Consequently, whenever someone is genuinely kind to me, or pays me a compliment, I don't believe them and I don't know how to respond. This happened the other day actually when someone at trampolining said that the people I'd found to live with were very lucky. It took me by surprise at the time but now I think about it, there are people who are just as kind to me all the time and I just dismiss it by searching for the same kindness from people who are less likely to give it. I think the anxiety and the confidence issues definitely cloud my vision but if you're anything like me, your friends are there. You just have to notice them.
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Lots of Love,
Sarah xxx
