Long Distance Blues
Hello!
So I was wondering how on earth I was going to fit in doing this blog post as I'm ill just now and seem to have 6 million novels to read by the end of the week (exaggeration, obviously) but it just so happened that my 11am lecture had been cancelled leaving me with 2 hours to get on with this. So, large hot chocolate in hand, sniffling in the corner of the SU, let's get to it!
Most of you will know that I am in a long distance relationship (if you're new and didn't know that, hello!) and most of the time it doesn't bother me but there are times when it's really hard and I don't really know who to talk to because I know how annoying it can be when someone won't shut up about their partner. So, I figured that it would be best to ramble about it on here.
When Joe and I first got together last January we went straight into long distance so it really didn't bother us at the start because it was all we knew. Unfortunately it doesn't stay as easy in my experience as the longer you're together, the harder it is to say goodbye. In fact, I feel like it's especially difficult to say goodbye now because we've hit the one year mark, and have just had the Christmas holidays where we were together so I'm not too ashamed to admit that there were a few tears as I watched his train pull away from Edinburgh station yesterday after his first weekend to Edinburgh of 2018.
Of course the missing each other is difficult as it can feel like a physical ache after a while, and no amount of hours on Skype can bring the actual person to you, but the hardest thing for me is being surrounded by other couples. The other week I was sat in the pub with two couples and a pair of best friends. They weren't being particularly involved with each other, I was included in the conversation, very much part of the group, but it was just little moments like a boyfriend brushing something off his girlfriend's face, or a little inside joke that made the miles between Joe and I feel all too real. But I can't be angry at other couples for not being long distance as that would be ridiculous so I generally keep the little internal sighs to myself!
However, despite it being difficult, I don't want this post to be entirely whining as I feel like I can give solid advice on how to make time apart feel less crap, as it can be absolutely fine a lot of the time, I promise!
The first thing I'd mention is coping with difficult patches. All couples go through bad patches where they argue more, or one of you is going through a tough time. When you're a long way from each other, these times can feel overwhelming. With my anxiety any argument or even a slight tiff will make me panic that he must be breaking up with me! Obviously, he's not. My advice would be to phone if an argument via text starts to get heated. Texts can be read in all sorts of ways; we put emphasis on words when that emphasis wasn't there in the first place so people naturally end up getting upset. Things generally get sorted out much more quickly if you have a verbal conversation.
The second thing I'd mention is to be open with one another if you feel that something isn't right. Even if your worry seems silly, it's far better to be open about it rather than bottling it up. That way, you deal with your issues as they come and you don't end up resenting each other when you eventually see each other.
Lastly, take photos. I find that having lots of photos of times spent together means I have plenty of happy memories to look back on when I'm by myself again. I suppose I'm quite lucky in this regard as my blog pictures have that same feel as Joe is often the one behind the camera so I can remember the conversations we had whilst the pictures were being taken. I say it a lot but thank you Joe for all the pictures, they are always really good!
Plus, he always manages to capture a non serious moment, and I like that!
I hope this was helpful for someone, hit like down below if you enjoyed the post, and thank you so much for all the love on Instagram already!
Lots of Love,
Sarah xxx
