I Did It!! Ft. Holiday Snaps
Hello!
Welcome back, I've returned from hotter climes and have slipped back into reality. Although this reality is far more HD than before due to new glasses! Before I went to Greece, I shared my feelings on flight anxiety and general worries over holidays and promised that I would let you know how I got on so here we are!
To get to Greece, I flew up to Edinburgh so I could fly to Athens with the others. The prospect of two flights and indeed, two lots of security had me feeling decidedly weak at the knees but, to my absolute astonishment.... I was absolutely fine! The flight to Edinburgh felt extremely routine as I've done it more times than I can count and the flight to Athens was made far easier by none other than one of our tenors, Alistair Dinnie. Alistair, if you're reading, your starter speech was invaluable. I don't know if he knew that I felt anxious about flying but if he did, his method certainly worked. He told me about his best ever flight. He was flying up to Edinburgh and the plane didn't have enough space for him so they invited him into the cockpit. He said that the most reassuring thing was just how easy flying is for pilots. It's literally up, along, down. Whenever I felt anxious, I would repeat "up, along, down." to myself.
Some people asked how that flight was and of course I told them that it was great. Now, often when something goes well when you have anxiety, people think that you'll have conquered that fear, that you're cured of it, that all you needed was exposure. What a romantic view that is, and if only it were true. The flight back from Athens was bloody awful to say the least. I desperately tried not to hyperventilate although I honestly thought I'd throw up. It was a bumpy ride and I remember thinking that this may be the plane I die on. But still I managed to cope with the oncoming panic attack by repeating "up, along, down" as I watched "About Time" on my iPad. Rather embarrassingly, the leather seat was soaked with sweat from my legs when I stood up at the end but hey, at least it wasn't vomit or urine! And, I managed to eat a sandwich so things weren't as bad as they could have been.
One day I might be able to get on any plane and feel calm - I used to adore flying as a child so it is possible. One day, I might look back on this and laugh. But, it's important to remember that anxiety is a marathon... several marathons... too many marathons, not a sprint so we get over things gradually. It's easy to feel disheartened when things go badly but it's far healthier to feel pleased when things go well. And slowly, you'll start to have more good flights than bad, and then maybe all flights. In the words of Jess Glynn, "Don't be so hard on yourself!"
But anyway, how was Greece? In a word, sublime.
It was exhausting, there was far too much food and alcohol but I think it may just have been the happiest week I've ever had. The scenery was stunning, the food delicious, the people even more delicious, and laughter incessant. I had a good deal of full length photos taken of me - something I'd feared for a long time but I think I may just have beaten that fear! The music was fabulous and last, but certainly not least, I had the absolute privilege of watching Anna and Conrad get engaged on the beach and I wish them every happiness in the future. There's so much I could say but you'd all be bored to death so instead, I shall leave you with pictures.
Lots of Love,
Sarah xxx
