Irritation
Hello!
To be honest "Irritation" is a working title but if you've read "Frustrated", this is on similar lines. I am just irritated with everyone and everything and also myself right now.
So where to start? If you don't know me well you might not know that I'm an incredibly good judge of character from early on so I tend to know when someone's lying, being manipulative, hiding something, you get the picture. And normally I let it all slide but right now, it's really pissing me off. People lie, manipulate, and take liberties all the time and it's not ok. If you're reliable and kind usually, people take advantage of that and push it to the limits. And also when you're anxious, you generally feel like you have to deliver with everything even if you don't want to for fear of upsetting people. So I guess this is where self aimed anger comes in. I'm angry with people for doing that to myself and others but I'm also angry with myself for seeing straight through it and not having enough guts to do anything.
I'm more annoyed about the latter because on the inside I think I can be all intimidating and in control and smooth but in reality, I'm not at all. I'm more like a rabbit in the headlights. But I guess it might be difficult for anyone to turn around to someone and say "you're lying to me, tell me the truth." or "I feel like you're being manipulative and I don't like that." despite the fact that they are incredibly simple phrases when written down.
And one thing that really boils my blood is people feeling like they can get involved in my relationship. I don't mean just recently as I appreciate that this whole post looks like an indirect and slightly childish call out, it's not. Because this seems to happen in any relationship, or at least in my experience. Why is it that if someone fancies you they see "I'm in a relationship." as a challenge? News flash: it isn't. Also why do people feel the need to comment on your state of affairs or say you're having issues when they don't have a clue what's going on and that it's also generally in hand? And perhaps the most irritating for me as I know that the previous two don't come from a place of total malice or anything, it's just annoying, is that people ask you about your future or how far this relationship is going to go. Or more to the point, asking someone why they don't know if they're marrying that person or moving in. Wake up people, it is none of your business if I haven't invited that sort of comment and it also puts a huge amount of pressure on.
I am totally aware that right now, I sound like a huge bitch but you know, this stuff doesn't get to me all the time as I'm usually pretty mellow but right now, everything is so irritating! Maybe the worst part is begrudgingly being able to see why people might act like that. In fact in 2 years time, I'll have a degree in why people act in such frustrating ways.
I think I'll leave it there before I put you all off me! Just think about your actions, people and I will do my best to do the same.
As always, feel free to like, message (even if it's to say that this post was a little aggressive) and share.
Lots of Love,
Sarah xxx
